The stuff no one tells you about.
Parenthood is a vulnerable state in which we're convinced we *need* all kinds of gadgets for our kids. But do we really? Depends.
I remember spending countless hours reading through mommy blogs and screen-shotting Instagram stories before our 10-month-old daughter, Sofia, was born in an effort to put together a master list of all the things we would *need* in her first days at home and beyond. At the top of the list: the prestigious UppaBaby Vista stroller, the luxurious Dock-a-Tot, and the Scandinavian-designed Stokke high chair.
In the 10 months since her birth, we’ve not only accumulated the aforementioned items but also countless others. This weekend we embarrassingly picked up a third (third!) stroller off Facebook Marketplace. Yet even as we lament the crowding of our tiny, 1928-built garage, we convince ourselves that item and gadget serves a very specific purpose that other items don’t seem to address as well. To illustrate this delusion, I’ll break down the very specific (perceived) function mapping of our three strollers.
The first stroller was a generous gift from my parents before Sofia was born and we couldn’t wait to go for walks with her in it. A buttery smooth ride with endless configuration possibilities and a spacious undercarriage. Newborn baby? Attach the bassinet. Have a second kid? Attach another seat. We never considered we’d need anything other than said stroller until a few months into our post-baby life I was itching to start running again and with limited “me” time, wanted to incorporate Sofia. The first stroller was not designed for running though and certainly not the trails by our house. My birthday was coming up, however, and my husband used it as an opportunity to “gift” me with a new shock-absorbing running stroller.
With three big wheels and serious suspension, our running stroller can tackle any bump on the road or trail - all while keeping bebé nice and comfortable inside. Our nanny took one look at our sturdy new whip and fell in love. She pushes Sofia up several hills on questionable sidewalks to the park each day and hasn’t touched the first stroller since. Because of where we live, the running stroller is typically our stroller of choice and that makes me feel guilty about the first stroller. We decide to use the first stroller on trips and around town and the division of use time feels reasonable.
Life went on and we justified having two full-size strollers cohabiting our tiny garage. But recently we went on our first true “vacation” with Sofia to Hawaii. As we prepped, we mentioned to my brother and sister-in-law that we planned to check the first stroller under the plane. They were appalled. “You need a travel stroller,” they implored. “No way,” we proclaimed defiantly, “we already have two strollers. How many modes of transportation could one 10-month-old possibly need?!” Unwilling to let us make the trip without one, my in-laws dropped off their travel stroller for use during our travels. Reluctantly, we brought it with us. And guess what? Total. Game-changer. Several Facebook Marketplace negotiations later, we now own a travel stroller too.
Pre-baby, friends had warned me of how much gear babies required and I’ll admit I thought a lot of it to be superfluous. Our parents raised babies just fine without three strollers, breathing sensor baby monitors, and organic baby food subscriptions. As much as I hate to admit it though, innovations in baby-raising have made our lives a lot easier than they would have been otherwise. I sleep well at night knowing my phone will go off if Sofia cries in the night and I can check on her real-time to make sure she’s okay. I have more time to play with her when I order Instacart for groceries or Tiny Organics for healthy meals in a pinch. But while all these services do make life with a baby easier, it’s also easy to get so caught up in the perceived immediate need of all these gadgets that we end up with our garages full and bank accounts depleted.
As Sofia grows and starts aging out of some of the early day items, I’ve found myself getting sad. Sad at the relentless passing of time, but also about all this stuff that fills up our garage and attic and guest room closet. When we first moved into our house from our small two-bedroom apartment in SF the amount of space seemed almost laughable. But now I find myself stacking items in the guest closet, trying to make more room.
Luckily for those of us gear fanatics, there are many options for buying, selling, and gifting pre-loved baby gear these days which is a not only more environmentally friendly but bank account friendly as well. In addition to acquiring, borrowing from a friend is another great option, whether to satisfy the need case or to try before buying. I wish we would have tested out several stroller options after having Sofia to find out which made the most sense for our lifestyle before committing - and ending up with multiple.
Some of my favorite sources for finding and sharing pre-loved baby gear:
BuyNothing groups on Facebook - join your local group and monitor listings for gear giveaways or post an item you’re searching for. As the name suggests, it’s all free!
Facebook Marketplace & Nextdoor for local listings
Rebelstork and GoodBuyGear for vetted and quality guaranteed used baby gear
Hand-me-downs from friends and family
What are your thoughts on baby gear? Are you a gadget queen/king or a minimalist? What are your personal methods for controlling the accumulation of *stuff*? Shoot me a note or leave a comment below.
Thanks so much for reading!
Alexia